Tecomogamic: Episode 6. X-Men Apocalypse

X-men Apocalypse. Also known as How the Professor lost his hair.

The only time I had heard anything about Apocalypse was when I was recording another podcast I once hosted. The podcast was called Offtrack’s Podcast and my fellow cohosts and I were living up to the namesake, we were thoroughly Offtrack. Somehow we had ended up on a discussion regarding the after credits scene of X-Men Days of Future past when my weakness was revealed. I had never heard about Apocalypse. And that, my friends is the only time I have indeed heard of Apocalypse… I got berated for my lack of knowledge, lost some serious geek creed and have since never lived it down. As such the only reason I want to watch X-Men Apocalypse is so I can learn who the fuck Apocalypse is. It’s a little late but better late than never right?!?
It should be mentioned that my expectations have flatlined for this one. I feel as though this could be a good waste of two hours of my existence. But anyways, it’s time to press play.

The man loves his Egypt. Anyone who knows me knows this. I love Egyptian History, especially Ancient Egyptian History. So the opening scenes to this film were a pleasant surprise. They were also jam packed with clever action sequences and booby traps. I love booby traps, the unseen mechanics of these hacks of sand and earth have always fascinated me ever since watching Raiders of the lost Ark and golden afternoon sessions of Ducktales. Straight up this film gave me enough to satiate my desire for adventure, I thus decided to hang in there for the ride just to see where it would take me.
First up it must be said that Apocalypse is one unfortunate looking fella. Not sure how he got his head but he should have left it in the sand whence he was born. However! Head aside, he does have an interesting back story. Legend has it that he’s s as old as humanity and has links to the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. Yep, he’s that Apocalypse…. As a mutant of the old earth he had the freaky ability to be able to transfer his consciousness from one person to the next so just as he is about to cark it he transfers into a new body and whammo! He’s good as new. However somewhere along the way he figured out that if he simply transferred his consciousness into that of a mutant he would take control of their powers thus inheriting them as he went. So technically speaking over time he become a mutant collector harvesting powers as he ventured across the landscape. Interesting fellow, no doubt about it.

So what happens when this talented mutant gets unleashed upon the earth in the 1980’s? Well, that’s what this movie is all about. Well that and the back story regarding the underlying divisions that run deep throughout society of the 1980’s. This film works well as an analogy of the numerous divisions that exist throughout the world today as well but basically put, this is the story of one mutants quest to press the refresh icon on his search browser.

Now I’m not gonna lie, the film is a little hyperactive. It sadly suffers from the same faults that a lot of recent super hero films do but as hyper active as this film was in places there were a couple of enjoyable highlights. The first highlight, truthfully also a welcome comic relief to the darkness of Apocalypses very presence was the Quick Silver scene. This was simply an absolute joy, as they nearly always are. So was the Quicksilver reveal. Turns out he’s got daddy issues. All I know is that one day he’s gonna work out that he is indeed the only X-men who is able to time travel and than the shits really gonna get knocked into 12th gear!!!

Another highlight is when The Wolverine makes a brief appearance and leaves his mark on the world and on everyone he encounters who didn’t friend him on Facebook. Simply but, they deliberately let Wolverine lose… weapon X is lose…Why Wolverine was at the Dam compound to begin with remains somewhat of a mystery, though I do believe it was something to do with Major Stryker injecting andamantium into Wolverine’s veins inadvertently making him stronger and angrier. So? Is this snippet technically a missing piece of the first Wolverine Film? Yep…

Ultimately this is the story of how the X-Men become the X-men and how Professor X lost his hair.

Overall the film is decent but far from great, it is however machined to perfection and fits like a jigsaw piece into the puzzle that is the X-Men timeline.

The credits rolled, we were treated with what some might call a stinger regarding the Weapon X program and than Apocalypse and his four horsemen came for Singer…